Vhen de Jaegerkin first got dropped here, you vere all lost. And col't. Hit vas about two hundret years ago, and you all foun't yourself in Russia. Dose first few years vere no fun at all. You vere in Siberia, and dere vere no pipple, and not nearly enuff to eat.
De leaders uf de Tribe vere all beck home on de Jaeger vorlt, so no vun knew vhot to do at first. But de strongest became de leaders, as de strongest alvays do. Efter a few years, it vas clear dat Khrizhan vas de new leader, and he became De Hatless. Efferyvon gave him Life, and his Lifebumps got to be de biggest of dem all.
He vas de von who led de tribe Vest. Efferyvon could tell dat it vas varmer vest and sout', so you vent dat vay. Dere vas more food, and den dere vere pipple. Strenge little pipple, vitout Lifebumps. Dey were easy to kill, so didn't seem a t'reat to de Jaegerkin at first. But den you met de schmotboys.
De first schmotboys you found tried to tek over de Jaegerkin, but dey vos schtupid: dey t'ought you vere just dumb animals, and tried to use you like dem. Dey thought dat the Jaegers vere schtupid, because you iz not afraid all the time like the pipple here are, but that vas just dumb -- Jaegerkin aren't afraid because you got Life. Dey all got torn up, and de Jaegerkin continued to move.
But den dere vere de Heterodynes. Dey vere de schmot vons: schmotter den Khrizhan himself, and nastier. Dey tol't de Jaegerkin dat dey vould find a way to bring you home again, iff you vould serve them until den. And until then, t'ey vould help de Jaegers live. So dey made de Ancient Contract, sharing their own Life vit de Jaegerkin. Dey call it de "Schpark", but it's much like de Life, and they had so moch of it dat a little Heterodyne vent a long vay. And while dere vere many uf de Heterodynes, dere vas plenty uf Life to go arount. It made t'em like the Jaegerkin, and made t'em smell so goot to de kin. All but Jenka, the schmot vun one who hid ven de Contract vas made. You all knew dat von Jaeger should be left vitout de shot, so dat iff somevun effer needs to schtop de Heterodynes, dey can.
De next hundret years vere pretty normal for you. De Heterodynes led de Jaegerkin looting, pillaging, eating t'ings -- it vas almost like being home again. But all goot t'ings must end, and so did de fun.
Bill and Barry Heterodyne vere de new Heterodynes, and dey vere de Good Guys. Dey didn't like all de killing and schtuff, and made sure de Jaegerkin didn't kill nobody vhot didn't deserve it. Vell, dat vasn't soch a big problem -- dere vere lots of pipple who deserved it. But it vasn't so carefree as the time before had been. And dey vere the last of the Heterodynes, so dey didn't haff do much Life to share aroun't.
And de Jaegerkin began to notice: it had been a long time dey had been serving de Heterodynes. Dey had got distracted by all de fun, but de years vere taking dere toll. De Jaegers veren't so tough as dey had vonce been: you could kill a Jaegerkin by blowing him up goot, effen if he vas giffen de Life by the rest uff de Tribe. And most veren't so schmot as dey used to be. It vas slow, takink many years, but de Life vas runnink out.
So Jenka vent to de Heterodyne Boys, and told dem that it vas time to pay up on de Contract. De Jaegerkin had done dere part, now de Heterodynes should do deres. And six months later, de Heterodyne Boys vanished.
Dere vas a lot of vorry about dat. "Maybe dey ran away," said Tyoma -- nobody liked dat idea, so dey tore off his arm to show dat he shouldn't say t'ings like dat. "More likely, they tried to find a way to our home, and something went wrong," said General Khrizhan, the Hatless. He was the schmotest, de von vith de biggest Lifebumps, so everybody nodded and said he must be right. Vherever de Heterodynes are, dey might have found de way home -- all de more reason to find out vhere dey vent.
But vhot now? De Jaegerkin veren't velcome anyvhere vitout de Heterodynes. And de Schmotboys vere schmotter den dey used to be -- hit vasn't safe to be vitout protection. Hit vas a bad couple of years, vith the Jaegerkin being chased around, fighting t'ings that could actually kill dem.
And den Baron Vulfenbach came back. You all knew him -- he vas de Heterodyne's sidekick, de fonny von dat alvays got caught by de bad guys. Now, though, he had got all serious, and vanted peace at any cost. So de Jaegerkin struct de bargain anew, vith de Baron dis time. He vould help find a vay home, and de Jaegerkin vould serve him. But he vouldn't giff his own Life, so the slow schtupidity kept spreadink.
Really, you aren't effen sure dat you vant to go home any more. Hit's nize here, vith lots of interesting t'ings to fight and eat. But you need to get more Life. De Jaegers are gettink schtupider and veaker, year by year; sooner or later, you'll really schtart to die. Somevun needs to get beck to de homevorlt and bring back Life from de main tribe. If dey can bring dat back here, dey ken spread it to de rest, and de Jaegerkin should be hokay for anodder hundret years or so. It'll be a great honor for whoeffer gets to do hit: for a short time, dey vill haff de biggest Lifebumps, and be de Hatless. Dey might effen become de new leader. But effen if dat doesn't last long, it'll be a great story, and great for gettink de vimmenfolk...
Characters In Game: Dimo Jenka Maxim Oggie
All Characters: Dimo Jenka Maxim Oggie
The following were notes made while this was in development. They do not necessarily represent the final state of the thing.