Character Sheet: Gilgamesh Wulfenbach

Combat Value: 8

You are Gilgamesh von Wulfenbach, heir to the mightiest empire Europa has seen in centuries. One would think that would make a person happy, but it seems to have done nothing but send your life into a downward spiral.

Not that it's ever been simple. You never really knew your mother: Father scarcely even says much about her. You've managed to piece together some of the basics over the years, but it's fragmentary at best. Lucrezia Mongfish's last little laugh before she "reformed" and married Bill Heterodyne was to send Father far away, to some foreign Kingdom that he doesn't like talking about. There, he met and fell in love with a woman named Magraita -- your mother -- and you were born. But he made the mistake of getting curious about what was happening back home, and when he got there he found a world in chaos. He never went back to her, and tends to angrily change the subject whenever you bring it up.

(There was a moment, a few years ago, when something changed. He was positively sunny for a few months, telling you that he was going to change things so that you could meet her. But whatever he had planned, nothing ever came of it -- within a few months, he was his taciturn old self again, and never spoke of the subject again.)

It's all very much like Father. The great Baron Klaus von Wulfenbach, master of all he surveys, ruler of most of Europa, commander of the greatest army of Clanks the world has ever seen (not to mention the Jaegermonster side of his forces). Greatest Spark of the age, the man who rules with a firm but understanding hand. A reasonably competent emperor, but not exactly the world's greatest father.

Oh, it isn't that you hate each other or anything foolish like that. He tries hard -- you can't fault him for that. But you always feel that he doesn't think of you as a Son, but rather as an Heir. He is always testing you, to see if you are smart enough, strong enough, and clever enough to succeed him. Nowadays, you often find yourself wishing you could just fail his constant tests and get disowned. Sadly, you seem to have inherited his pride along with anything else: you can't quite bring yourself to admit failure like that.

You were raised in the most sheltered of environments: first in the remnants of the old Castle Wulfenbach, then aboard the great floating airship that Father replaced it with. You were playing in laboratories when most children are barely learning to read, and you broke through as a Spark when you were just eight years old. Everyone kept telling you that your one-eyed friend Zoing was imaginary, until you told them that you had built him, and introduced them to him.

When you were ten, Father began his great experiment in "schooling". He was beginning to conquer enough lands that they were getting hard to manage, and rebellions were becoming frequent. So he started a policy of making off with the children of the ruling nobles, and raising them on board Castle Wulfenbach. Not long after that, he placed you among them -- he did something to suppress your Spark for a time (you still don't know exactly what), and told them you were simply an anonymous ordinary young man. Everyone presumed you were a child of minor nobility -- petty change by the standards of the Castle, a real nobody. Most of the children were fairly cruel to you at first, believing they were all more important than you.

The one who stood up for you was Theo. It was a bit ironic, since he was the one who was simply an orphan, not the child of any powerful figures -- at least, no living ones. Theopholous DuMedd was the last of the Mongfish line, nephew to the great villainess Lucrezia Mongfish, Father's sometime friend who had forcibly introduced him to your mother. From what you know of her, Theo is completely different from her: one of the most basically decent people you've ever known. He was already the unofficial leader of this gang of kids (he would later become the official Head Boy), and he told them to lay off you. The two of you wound up best of friends for your time among the group.

There were a bunch of others, but the core of the group was pretty consistent through the years. Besides you and Theo, the other real troublemaker was Sleipnir O'Hara, an Irish tomboy with a talent and fondness for machinery. You had a bit of a crush on her for a couple of years, but you knew there couldn't be anything in it: Father had always been clear that would have a marriage arranged for her. Besides, it clear by the time you were about fourteen that she and Theo were going to wind up together. They were both too thick to realize it, but you've always considered it just a matter of time.

Then there was Z. He's the son of the Iron Sheik, ruler of Persia and one of the few people who rivals Father in terms of power. The Sheik is something of a legend: his battle to free his lands from the strange time distortions they had been trapped in for decades has been immortalized in the story "The Heterodyne Boys and the Race for the West Pole". Z is quite decent, although a bit taciturn -- he never really approved of the hijinks when the rest of you would go romping around the Castle. Still, he's probably going to wind up the best of the bunch of you someday.

And there was Zulenna. Stuck-up Princess of Holfung-Borzoi, always using that title as a weapon around the rest. You figure it was her defense against all the Sparks. (Theo, Sleipnir and Z were all Sparks of one grade or another -- as were you, even if nobody knew it.) Zulenna wasn't a Spark, but she was Royalty Dammit, and never let anyone forget it. She was a real pain, but she was still part of the little family. And she was remarkable with a sword, even as a kid -- she taught you everything you know about fencing, and despite your years learning in Paris, you suspect she could still wipe the mat with you in minutes.

In charge of the lot of you was Von Pinn. Part den mother, part bodyguard, part teacher and part ravening wildebeest, she had the bunch of you completely cowed. Even now, with your positions somewhat reversed, she still sometimes intimidates you. She's a construct, made by Lucrezia Mongfish as one of her little "experiments", trying to combine three races into one. The result is a woman with all the strength and speed of a Jaegermonster, the control-freakery of the Geisterdamen, and the creativity of a human being. In retrospect, you can see that she protected the lot of you, and did her best to raise you to your future responsibilities. But at the time, you hated her as only a kid can hate his teacher. That was only made worse by the fact that she always rode you harder than the rest - Father's orders, no doubt.

Still, for all the annoyances of your role, those were good years in their way. You had a group of friends, you were able to perpetrate a lot of hell around the Castle, and -- well, you were kids. All that ended when you turned fifteen.

Father decided it was time for you to see the larger world. So it was time to leave the school on the Castle, and instead head off to Paris for finishing school. No one asked you, of course: you simply got picked up and shipped off one day with no warning. They didn't even tell the other kids on the Castle who you were: they found out later. Of course, you didn't know that. Father assured you that he'd told them that you had gone to Paris, and so when they didn't write to you, you figured he had told them who you were, and they'd abandoned you. You were the son of their captor, after all -- why would they want to talk to you? It wasn't until relatively recently that you figured out the truth: Theo was trying to send you letters. Which probably means that Father was intercepting and discarding them as a distraction from your studies. He's nothing if not consistent.

Of course, you managed to find your own distractions. Heh -- that was when you hooked up with Wooster. It says something about your life that your best friend is a spy. Not a spy working for you, mind: a spy on you.

Oh, he's improved over the years. If you met him nowadays, you might not even guess that he's in the employ of the British government. But at the time, both of you were callow fifteen-year-olds let loose in Paris, and frankly, you were better at this than he was. Father had told you what to expect. There would be physical threats against you, of course, so you had a set of bodyguards for those. And there would be spies, trying to pump you for information. Quite a number of them, actually: Wooster was merely the simply the only good one. Most of them tried to pose as anything from teachers to prostitutes, but the Brits were the only ones clever enough to pose as a friend.

To be fair, you're pretty sure the friendship isn't entirely feigned. It was at first: Wooster was just a little too stiff and yet a little too eager to make your acquaintance. You were pretty sure that this kid in your classes was spying on you from early on, and you sent a few quiet agents around to confirm the point: he just wasn't good enough at covering his tracks yet. But neither of you had any friends in town, so it was easy to fall in together. Besides, as Father pointed out, spies were always going to be around, so it's better to know who they are.

So you and Wooster spent a couple of years turning Paris upside-down. There were classes to deal with, of course, but those really were just a distraction -- most of the teachers were mundane little people entirely focused on their little specialties. Mostly, you spent those years learning about life from the city itself. At least once a week, you and Wooster would find a new way to slip your handlers, and find your way out into the larger city. You learned everything from your alcohol tolerance to the ways of women. That was when you really developed your sense of whimsy, which you must admit sometimes leads you down dangerous paths. But life is far less fun without a bit of risk.

Sadly, you mainly learned that most women -- indeed, most people -- are really terribly dull. That was when you began to despair of finding a real life-mate. Female Sparks are unusual enough; ones with some real spirit moreso; and ones who aren't already promised to somebody, or captives, or simply disappeared, are rarer still. The sex was good, but you found yourself getting rather Byronesque in your despair of finding sincere romance.

After a couple of years, you were summoned home again. Wooster looked so forlorn, trying to figure out how to ingratiate himself into your company in the longer term, so you simply handed him the opportunity: you offered him a position as your private butler. Frankly, it suited you well. It kept your British spy nearby, and you had grown really quite fond of Wooster's tea-making skills. The English may be an annoying people in some ways (what they see in a centuries-old hag of a Queen, you can't say), but they do make the best tea in the world. Some days, it's all that gets you through.

You settled back into life in the Castle, albeit in a very new and different role. You weren't part of the "school" any more (indeed, none of your old friends even sought you out when you got back), but instead you were the very public heir to the throne. No longer content to leave it to Von Pinn, Father began his tiresome regime of testing you. Testing you in every way: setting up trials of everything from electricity to politics, to see how you would react to them. The first few times, it was exciting and gratifying to pass his little tests. But it grew wearisome before terribly long.

Things continued on a reasonably even keel until about four months ago, when Agatha "Clay" entered your life. At first, she was simply a footnote: the slightly incompetent assistant to Father's old assistant Dr. Beetle. You and Father had been visiting Beetle down in his city of Beetleburg, home of Transylvania Polygnostic University. Father was supposedly unveiling a new device that Beetle's assistants were building for him. And then everything went to hell.

It all happened so fast, you can scarcely keep it straight. The device turned out to be yet another of Father's little tests for you: intentionally broken, to see if you would realize the error. Beetle's second-in-command, Dr. Silas Merlot, completely lost it -- having spent months working on what turned out to be simply window-dressing, he went into a rage worthy of the best Spark. He revealed that Beetle had been hiding a Hive Engine: the monstrous devices that create Slaver Wasps, tools of the Other. Beetle tried to kill all of you, you batted him bug-bomb back at him, he blew up, and everyone blamed you, despite the fact that you'd just saved everyone's lives. (Well, except Beetle's.) Merlot was put in charge of TPU, but Father made it pretty clear that he was on notice -- the slightest screwup, and he was off to a hideous fate in Castle Heterodyne.

Things did not get simpler after that. The next morning, a new Clank went rampaging through Beetleburg. Father was convinced that it was the work of Moloch von Zinzer, but you were fairly sure that von Zinzer was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time: all the indications were that Agatha Clay was the actual Spark, breaking through and creating the device. But no matter -- Father was also convinced that Agatha was von Zinzer's lover, so he brought both of them up to the Castle. That suited you fine: the girl was intriguing, and you wanted to get to know her better.

It didn't take long for her to prove you right. She had a falling-out with von Zinzer (they had never been lovers in the first place, as far as you can tell), and you took her on as a lab assistant. She was clearly breaking through even while that was going on. Her native skill was remarkable: she took the flying device you had been tinkering with for weeks, and got it working properly before you hit the ground. Not long after, she began to produce inventions of her own, starting with the most adorable little Clank -- what she informally called a "Dingbot".

That was probably the best few weeks of your life. You were falling very deeply for Agatha, and you're quite sure that she was falling for you. Indeed, you even got as far as -- very, very clumsily -- trying to propose to her towards the end there. But it all fell apart when her true identity was revealed. As far as you can tell, even she didn't know who she really was: the daughter of Lucrezia Mongfish and Bill Heterodyne, Father's old compatriots.

The Heterodynes are still a special case, decades after they vanished. Indeed, perhaps moreso -- all of their good deeds have been burnished by the years, to the point where people regard them as almost demigods. But Father has never forgiven them for their naivete: he attributes the chaos that followed in their wake to their gentle touch. Indeed, his rather harsh methods are a direct reaction to theirs. So he did not take kindly to the idea that she was not Agatha Clay, but actually Agatha Heterodyne.

The next few hours were absolute chaos. Agatha escaped from the Castle, in the company of that madman Othar Tryggvassen. Your friends from the school helped her do so; in the course of things, DuPree somehow managed to kill Zulenna. (Although Father brought her back.) In the ensuing mess, Theo decided that it was time for him to abscond as well -- he apparently decided that, if it was good enough for his newfound cousin Agatha, it was good enough for him.

You gave chase: having found the girl you intended to marry, you weren't going to let her go that easily. It took a little while to track her down, but with some assistance from DuPree you managed to track her to a nasty little Circus traveling through the Wilderness. They attempted to trick you into believing that she had attacked them, but you knew her too well: if anything, Agatha was always too good-hearted for her own good. And indeed, that turned out to be the truth -- she had in fact saved them from a wandering Clank in the woods. And gotten killed by it for her efforts.

You didn't want to believe it. It was too damned cruel: you had finally found the woman of your dreams, and she had been killed by something as senseless as a wandering monster? You demanded proof, and were crushed when they provided it. They took you to her grave, and showed you the body, complete with the engagement ring you'd placed on her finger. You still wear it on a string around your neck, as a reminder of how cruelly random the world can be.

Since then -- well, it isn't as if anything has mattered much. You brought her burned body back to Castle Wulfenbach, and started in on a new hobby: killing every damned wandering monster in the Wilderness. By hand. It's a pretty hopeless task, but it brings you a certain grim satisfaction -- you imagine that each one is the creature that killed her. And you have to say, your reflexes are just getting better as you fight these things one by one, as quickly as they can be brought up to the Castle for you.

Of course, the world has continued to move on. After Zulenna was revived by Father, she was summoned home to Holfung-Borzoi -- next time you see her, she'll probably be a Duchess rather than your pseudo-sister. Von Pinn accompanied her, along with Sleipnir and Z, so the Castle has been pretty quiet lately. Theo is being hunted since his escape, of course, but that's pretty half-hearted: he isn't important enough to warrant a full-scale search. Part of you is hoping that he's having a good life out there, finally free to live his own life; part imagines him torn up by some thing out there, just like Agatha.

Meanwhile, Father has been fretting about a new Revenant threat. He recently deciphered Dr. Beetle's notes, which made it clear that the whole mess down in Beetleburg was an idiotic misunderstanding. Beetle didn't construct the hive engine, he found it. And he found that it had been made with Wulfenbach parts.

That got Father's attention. He didn't want to believe it, but he checked it himself, and confirmed that some of the parts in its construction were directly from the Castle's stores -- someone had stolen some of father's devices for regrowing bodies. The implication was unsettling: someone on board the Castle was smuggling parts down to agents of the Other, the old enemy, long thought dead, who had nearly destroyed everything decades ago. And that probably meant that there were Revenants on board. These controlled slaves of the Other were usually zombie-like creatures, easy to spot and deal with. But the fear was that these new Revenants were subtler, able to pass as normal people. Given recent events, that is all too easy to believe.

So he has been deeply engaged in a cross-breeding program. The result is the Weasels: annoying but useful creatures that can smell Revenants. When they come near one, they go completely crazy. They've already turned up several Revenants, although none who had access to the supplies used in the hive engine.

(A part of you is slightly concerned by the fact that Wooster did have such access. But he was one of the first people checked, and he's not a Revenant. And you are reasonably sure that, spy though he might be, he's not so foolish as to voluntarily assist the Other.)

Relations with Father haven't been going perfectly, either. You and he had a confrontation last week, which really brought things to a head. He is currently dealing with a rebellion down south, and ordered the town at the center of the rebellion bombarded. You were a bit disturbed by that: he's always taught you to use only as heavy a hand as is necessary, so you tried to dissuade him.

He was genuinely angered by that. You still remember his words: "Don't you presume to lecture me, boy! Do you think I don't understand idealism? I worked with the Heterodynes for years, and they were the avatars of idealism. And look where it got us: they go away, and scarce have people ceased to hear their silver tongues and they went right back to the old ways. I didn't set out to be a tyrant, Gil. That task was forced on me by the people. Force is all they understand. Force is all that keeps the squabbling nobles in line, and it's all that keeps the Sparks from preying on the populace. It isn't pretty, and it doesn't make people happy, but it keeps the peace."

You can understand that, in a way, but you aren't at all sure you agree. Yes, strength is necessary, but surely you can keep violence to a minimum most of the time. So you are trying to demonstrate that in your new mission.

The rumors made their way to Castle Wulfenbach about a week ago: the Hidden Castle of Amagog had resurfaced. This was a real surprise, and one that concerned Father greatly. Amagog was a legendary Spark who lived about two hundred years ago in the times of the Storm King, who was reputed to have mastered time and space in ways that no one since has managed. He created many great artifacts (including the Time Ruby that anchors the Iron Sheik's lands now), but as so often happens, he fell prey to the usual mobs of angry villagers. And one day, he simply disappeared, castle and all -- vanished so completely that many people have come to question his very existence.

Well, it seems that the Castle of Amagog has reappeared, as if it had never left. Of course, adventurers immediately began to show up to try and breach its defenses; word is sketchy, but it doesn't appear that any have succeeded. So Father, of course, wants to make sure that he lays claim to anything in there before anyone does anything foolish and dangerous with it. But he is still tied down with his rebellion, so he told you to go deal with it.

So deal with it you are doing, but you're going to make a point while you're at it. There is nothing about this matter that demands a full army battalion, the way he is accustomed to doing. You're instead dealing with this quietly, on your own. Well, almost on your own -- you aren't stupid. You are only bringing two guards, but they are the best. On the one hand, there's DuPree, who is under orders to follow your commands (insofar as she ever listens to anyone); on the other, there is Jenka, Father's best Jaegermonster agent. Between the three of you, you really ought to be able to deal with anything. And of course, you have Wooster with you -- there are days that you aren't at all sure you could make it through without a good cup of his tea. And spy though he is, he's also a good friend, and good though it feels to wallow at the moment, you can use someone who you can talk to. Father agreed to let you do this, provided you took one of the Revenant-detecting Weasels with you.

You'll see what's in this Castle, and make sure that there isn't any serious danger here. Meanwhile, you'll look into the other local legend surrounding Amagog, of his "Perfect Construct". No one seems to agree on exactly what this thing is, but most reports make it out to be some sort of terrible monster. You haven't gotten your exercise today, and a "perfect" Construct sounds like a fine opportunity for some fencing practice. Might even be a fairer match than you get from most of these wretched Wilderness creatures.

Personality

Time was when you were fairly happy-go-lucky, at least on the surface; deep down, you've always been a bit more serious than your peers, knowing what was in store for you. Really, you know that you've inherited your father's temperment: a little fiery, a little practical, a little adventurous, and a little prone to bitterness.

The bitterness is what you have now. You were so utterly happy with Agatha -- the girl could be infuriating sometimes, but you loved her more than you ever imagined you could. And now, all you have is revenge against the creatures that killed her, and the long, bleak job ahead.

Costuming Hint

You don't need to feel constrained by it, but you look something like this:

Some People You Know