You are an officer of The Space Brigade, responsible for spreading peace, order, and cool through the Galaxy. Authorized by the Galactic President to hunt down those squares, the Space Pirates. Under the command of Elvis, who has brought good music and grooming to everyone.
It wasn't always this way. As recently as a few decades ago, the Brigade was just another bunch of squares, dispirited and dull like everyone else. You wore uniforms, short hair, and a code of conduct that was stricter than strict. But then Elvis came along.
He was a near-deity on his home planet of Earth, a singer who was transforming the world's culture, teaching them the true ways. It was, by that planet's calendar, the mid-60's, when the Brigade chased a group of the Pirates to Earth. In the course of a long game of cat-and-mouse, the Brigadiers followed them to a place called Hollywood, where Elvis was creating a "movie", a sort of educational media presentation for the masses. He wound up getting involved in the chase, and eventually helped capture a few of the Pirates, signalling the Brigade with a well-timed song cue. He decided that it had been a fun adventure, and asked to join the Brigade. It was a bit out of the ordinary -- since Earth is a primitive world, unaware of the Galactic Republic, its inhabitants aren't normally eligible to join. But since he already had found out what was up, it was decided that he might as well come along. Little did anyone realize what a momentous moment that was.
His rise through the ranks is legendary, capturing Pirates even while performing gigs all over the galactic arm. Within a few years he was a Corporal; a few years after that, they had offered him his own admiralty. But he preferred to stay out in the field where the real work is being done, keeping just a Captain's commission. Which is how you have had the privilege of working with him, in the Rock Squad.
Although nothing is quite like it used to be, there's nothing like the Rock Squad. Your uniforms, modes of address, hairstyles -- all are informed by the teachings of Elvis. The most important tools of the trade are the blaster, the guitar, and the comb. Your mission: to hunt the Space Pirates, combatting their old-fogey music with the strains of pure rock. (The Pirates are a group of terrible squares, who attack innocent ships, loot and sing at them. You've seen the survivors, many of them stark mad, humming insane tunes with too many notes. You are deeply committed to the cause of peace and Rock; those terrible operettas must stop.)
And now, you're here on Earth, the legendary birthplace of Elvis. It isn't quite what you expected. You'd figured that it would be a cool place, full of good ballads and the magical Greasy Kid Stuff. Instead, the music is almost incomprehensible -- it's just noise. "Heavy Metal"? "Alternative"? "Rap"? Doesn't anybody here understand real Rock any more? They claim to worship Elvis, but it does seem as if they've forgotten his message. And the culture is strange beyond imagining. But your task is clear: to track down the Pirates, and then bring them back to justice.
No one knows exactly why the Pirates landed here, or what they're after. Your ship, the Jailhouse Rock, was chasing the Pirate ship when it suddenly veered and made a steep descent to Earth. You followed, but they went off the scopes. For the past several months, you've been tracking them, using the detectors to track their use of advanced technology. You are pretty sure that they are here at this "convention", but not sure exactly who they are or what they're after. But you know that, whatever it is, they mustn't get it.
In the meantime, you've been learning more about Earth culture. Strange place. Since there hasn't been a reconnaissance mission to Earth in decades, Brigade Command has ordered the lot of you to investigate it more closely, and decide whether they are ready for official contact with the larger cosmos around them. To be eligible for contact, a species should be mature in culture and society, not too dangerous to those around them, and have both economic and cultural benefits to offer the rest of the Galaxy. If you collectively decide that Earth is ready, you are authorized to make first contact.
You've heard some remarkable rumors in the past few weeks, about a Spatula of Wonder. Is it possible? Legend has it that, thousands of years ago, the Galactic Republic was originally brought together by a leader wielding a mighty weapon named Flippitatus. According to the stories, Flippitatus had been kept safely on the planet Lemuria, and was lost when that world was consumed by a cataclysm. But no one knows exactly what happened, and Earth is close enough to Lemuria that it seems just possible that Flippitatus somehow made its way here. The legends say that the next wielder of Flippitatus will change the Galaxy, for good or ill. It's too much to really hope for, but if it is indeed present, it must be returned to the proper authorities.
Anyway, your ship is up in orbit; a group of you is here on the planet, trying to figure out what is going on without alarming the natives. The ship has detected a massive interdimensional energy surge building up. No one is sure what this means, but it looks like it's going to peak in another day or so, late tomorrow night. It's a sure bet that it has something to do with the Pirates. Captain Elvis isn't here right now, although he may come down to check on your progress at some point. In the meantime, he's left Lieutenant Betts in charge of the sqaud, to keep an eye open for the Pirates.